Green With Envy?

THE GRASS ISN’T ALWAYS GREENER

It’s easy to fall in into the trap of seeing others on social media who (seemingly) have everything we want and make us feel feel like a loser. It’s natural.

However, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side . . . because sometimes it’s fake grass. Meaning, celebrities, lottery winners, your colleagues, and contemporaries may not be doing as well as you think.

If it’s our friends, we want to be happy for them, but if we are truly honest, we also wouldn’t mind seeing them slip a rung or three. Again, natural.

As cliche’ as this sounds, we really have to appreciate what WE have and realize we may never be rich, famous, incredibly fit, and travel the world in a private jet, but maybe it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. (I know, let me be the judge of that you say.)

All I know is, I travel a lot, have had some degree of fame (minor, at best), and have people praising me after my speeches, but the truth is, the travel (for the most part) is just a means to an end–I hate airports and crowded planes now.

I have an entire file drawer full of articles written about me, and “Meh”–they don’t pay the bills and the coolness of a piece in say, “Woman’s World” only lasts a short while.

As for profuse praise after a presentation, I really do appreciate the kind words, but in a way it’s a little uncomfortable.

So there you go, love the one you’re with, enjoy the job you have, and dream about Paris, but know the French hate us and the service there stinks.

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Green With Envy?

Learning When to Let Go

THE UNIVERSE HAS SPOKEN

The Universe is always giving us signs, but we often miss or ignore them because we’re too busy, too stubborn, or too set in our ways. Yet, we disregard them at our own peril—or heed them to our advantage.

My family was in the office supply industry for many years. My grandfather founded Advanco, which produced a highly successful line of paper products. My father followed in his father’s footsteps (and I worked for my dad) until he saw the signs that Staples and others were taking over and squeezing us out. My father sold the business and moved on, but I wanted to hang on. That would have been a huge mistake.

Sometimes we have to give up good for great. I went on to open Waves and Wheels Surf Centers with my brothers, and my father retired at age 52. I loved running the retail stores, but there was a time when I knew I needed to move on, and did so to become an author. Now, noticing that less and less people are reading books, it’s time to make a change again.

All I’m saying is, after having been through a few big life changes, I have come to realize that it’s okay to be afraid, but also be confident that everything will work itself out.

In 1989, I bought a townhouse in a brand new neighborhood. I would open my garage and ride my dirt bike all day through the tree-lined canyons without seeing a soul. Quickly, they paved over everything (naming the streets after the trees) and the quiet community became overcrowded and loud. We moved from a big house to a much smaller one by the beach and never looked back. It was time for a change of scenery, and it was absolutely the right move.

Lastly, they always tell you how fast time goes when your kids are kids, and now that I’ve experienced it, I can say it went by in the blink of an eye. With that comes the challenge of letting go—they’re not children any longer when they reach their teens. I’m embracing this phase (I do miss the younger years) and instead of being the coach on the sideline I am often the fan in the stands, and that’s okay. It’s the circle of life and besides, my feet and knees are killing me so it’s nice to be able to sit down and while watching the boys play.

Learning When to Let Go

Less Is More

Here are three simple things we can do today that will instantly help us and those around us.

1. We often deflect a compliment by explaining that it was no big deal. Accept a compliment with a simple thank you. That’s it, “Thank you.” Do it for yourself, and for the person who gave it. You deserve it, and they won’t feel diminished for saying it–which they do when you downplay it.

2. We speak at around 200 words a minute, but can comprehend 500 in the same time. Sure, you probably know what the other person is going to say, or have already thought of a witty response, but the best form of flattery is to hear people out . . . listen and let them finish.

3. What’s the harm in liking just about every positive post you see in your social media feed. It’s a small thing that makes a big difference to the person posting. Better yet, write a quick comment. I’m sure you can list a few good reasons not to do this, but I know that I look to see who liked this or that posting–even just our of curiosity.

Less Is More

Inch By Inch It’s a Cinch

For months I have put off building a new website for myself because I was afraid. Fear stopped me from starting. I could kick myself now because once I finally faced my fears and started in the new site I realized I had nothing to be afraid of. At first I took baby steps, and after a few days I was off and running. What could we accomplish if we just let go of the outcome and just started with a first step?

Here’s the link to my new website: https://www.leesilber.com
Here’s a link to a song I wrote and recorded for my wife for our 25-year anniversary: https://www.leesilber.com/music
Here’s a link to the hidden page: https://www.leesilber.com/services

Inch By Inch It’s a Cinch

Every Breath You Take

When my dying friend came to me and asked if I would write a book about her life, I agreed to do it . . . for her. There was no way I was going to say no. I am so proud that so many people have been inspired by Sunshine’s amazing story of adventure, courage, and resilience.

However, now that she has passed, it’s become clear that writing a book about someone who truly lived in the moment, and who’s life was a series of opportunities she said “yes” to—holding nothing back—to experience life to the fullest, was a lesson I needed to learn.

In the past, I would always sign my books differently—a challenge to myself to be in the moment. Yet for my book about Sunshine I found myself often writing the same inscription: “This is the time of your life, make the most of every moment.” It’s something I needed to remind myself of because by nature I’m a worrier.

From Sunshine I learned that much of what bothered me were things I would dredge up from the past. I know this because she told me, “Lee, you can’t change the past, it’s out of your control. Let it go.” She was right, of course. Her advice was to “F” it. Forgive yourself (and others), forget about it, or find a way to learn from it.

Sunshine could see right through me and often when we would meet to talk about her life and her book she would turn it around and the session would be about me. She would ask, “What’s bothering you?” I would reply that I was worried about this or that—things that were way off in the future.

Here advice was to let go of the outcome (which I can’t control anyway) and focus on the process—the things I can do now. (Basically, my choices of what to do, and how I do them, are what create my tomorrow.) Her take was that fear comes from worrying about the future. Sunshine would often tell me to have hope, believe that things would work out the way they were supposed to, and that the universe would provide if I started moving in that direction now.

My biggest regret is that Sunshine passed away before her book was published. I so wanted to sit side by side and sign books together. To see her smile as she took pictures with people holding up the novel based on her life. I know I have no control over when she died, so I focus on what I can do now to honor her. I do that by living in the moment, and at this moment sharing her wise words with you.

THE POWER OF NOW
Action Items Focus on the Now

If you find yourself slipping into regret about the past or worry and fear for the future, let the thought through and then reset yourself with your next (deep breath). Then refocus on the here and now and resume what you are doing with a better mindset.

Wear a bracelet, put a small sticky dot on your phone, set an alarm, put a Post-it Note on the wall to check in and remind you to be 100% focused on what you are doing, who you’re with, and where you are.

We can’t change the past, but we can learn from it so do something better today than you did yesterday. We can’t control the future, but we can do things today to make tomorrow better. If we let go of the past and let go of outcomes and instead just do the best we can with what’s right in front of us, there is a lot less stress.

Attached is a page with the main points of the article and other ideas related to this topic. I hung my copy above my desk. I hope you’ll use yours.

Also, if you have not read Sunshine’s inspiring life story, here’s a link to the novel based on her life. (Still the best book I’ve ever written.) Let me know if you order a copy. It makes me feel good to know her message is getting out there.

Every Breath You Take

Field of Dreams

Life Lessons From The Field of Dreams

Most people have seen the film Field of Dreams where Ray Kinsella hears a voice in his Iowa cornfield who whispers, “If you build it, he will come”. So the farmer plows his crop and to build a baseball field.

Everyone thinks Ray is crazy—especially when nothing happens after he builds the field. Then Shoeless Joe Jackson, a long dead baseball player appears and soon brings other baseball ghosts to play on this beautiful ball field built on a farm.

The problem is only Ray and his wife and daughter can see the players. The family is also about to lose the farm to creditors and they are being pressured to sell. Lastly, Ray goes on a road trip find a reclusive writer and bring him back from Boston.

So what can we learn?

ONE: Sometimes we have to take a leap of faith and believe things will work out, even when others don’t get it. In the end, things do work out for Ray and his family.

TWO: When we are driven by purpose (like Ray was) you don’t give up when times get tough or people slam doors in your face—like Terrance Mann did to Ray.

In the film Ray asks one time, “What’s in it for me?” But, he really did what he did without knowing (or caring) how he would benefit.

Failure, hard work, persistence, purpose, passion, selflessness, and hope are qualities Ray displays in the film. It is these same traits that can lead us to beat the odds and build our own “field of dreams” (whatever they may be).

Lee Silber is the award winning author of 24 books, a popular presenter, and a baseball fanatic and coach. leesilber@leesilber.com

Field of Dreams

Don’t Major in the Minors

In baseball, consistently hitting singles can lead to a nice career. However, hit a ton of home runs and you are a superstar. It’s the same in life.

If all we do is complete the urgent and easy tasks each day, we’ll do fine. If instead we take a swing at the big things (we know what they are because they scare us) we can achieve greatness because so few try for fear of striking out.

Years ago my Service Core of Retired Executives advisor told me that I had already mastered writing local books (singles) and that it was time to write something with national appeal (home runs). He was right, and I hit the first book out of the park with Random House.

Is your things-to-do list full of easy tasks that take up all of your time? What is the thing that most scares you to do–you’ll know what it is because you have probably been putting it off. My advice, step up to the plate and swing for the fences.

Don’t Major in the Minors