It’s Not Personal . . . to Them

“Wow, that was thoughtless,” or “Do they even realize what they just said?” are things I have thought to myself about what others have said to me. It would be easy to come up with a, “The jerk store called and they’re running out of you” reply (Think: George Costanza) but I believe people speak without thinking more than they think things through–and have no clue about how what they say says about them.

To them, it’s not personal. They are in a hurry, wrapped up in their own world, or oblivious to other’s feelings. Any way you look at it, they don’t care . . . about you. When people can send you a message instantly (by text, e-mail, or phone) it makes the situation much worse. So what’s the answer?

The old adage, “Treat people like you would want to be treated” comes to mind, but that won’t work. What we need is a cooling off period before we send something that could be seen as nasty or negative. Simply sit on the message before sending it. Let someone else take a look at it and let them give you feedback. Don’t say or send something at all if it could ruin a relationship (business or personal.) What I am suggesting is, we should think before we speak . . . or hit send.

In the beginning of this article I put the blame on others, but I have also been guilty of doing the very same thing only to have to deal with the fallout later. I started wearing a wristband as a reminder that if I don’t have anything to nice to say or write, wait a while before I say or send it. (So far this has saved me from some serious screw ups–even though I was in the right, it would have been wrong to react or respond.)


It’s Not Personal . . . to Them

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