Even though the title of this entry includes the words “self respect”, let’s be honest, what we really want is respect from others. To get that there are things we can do ourselves to get it. Unfortunately, we can’t mind control people to like us and treat us well—someday there will be an app for that but until then we must take it upon ourselves to make it almost impossible for them to not give us what we want and deserve . . . respect. You would think that founding five companies, writing 19 books (including a couple of best sellers), and getting standing ovations when I speak would lead to a lot of respect. Sadly, I had two situations recently with two individuals lately not showing (any) respect. It made me pause and ponder what the problem was. Clearly these people have issues (I’m not kidding) but I also realized I need to do more to make it easier for them to see why someone who gives everything to help others, shows others the upmost respect, and makes other feel important would warrant a little respect (I’m talking about myself in case you were wondering.) This is what I came up with. I hope it helps you, too.
1. Always look your best. When you look good you feel good and when you feel good you are at your best. Plus, people do put stock in how you dress and how well groomed you are. Since people do judge a book by its cover, make sure you are projecting the image you want others to see.
2. Stand tall. Lord knows I am not the tallest person in the room but when you put your shoulders back and hold your head up high you appear confident—and confidence is contagious. Perfect posture is important—and so is a solid handshake and the ability to look people in the eye.
3. Be confident but humble at the same time. Arrogance is obnoxious. A person who has an air of success but is also interested in you is irresistible. When you are confident you can let the other person be the star and shine—for a while. Politeness also impresses people.
4. Listen and remember things about others. Taking the time to learn a person’s name, using it often, and later following up with a nice note (or text) shows you care and were paying attention. You can’t change other people, you can only set a good example for them to follow. So be the nicest, most thoughtful, and respectful person they know. Remember, it’s not about you . . .
5. Put yourself in positions to succeed. Let’s be real, we can’t be great at everything. If the choice is between looking fabulous or foolish always choose the former. Say “No” to things that put you in a position to fail. Others also respect those who have a clear vision for their future and are actively pursuing it.
6. Stay calm. Do not freak out and lose control. Be the one who thrives under pressure and takes the high road whenever possible. Losing control looks bad and tarnishes your image. Walk away when you can—and when you can’t, try to find consensus and turn a negative situation into a positive one.
7. Be the best. When you are clearly the best at something others take notice. Give 100%, 100% of the time. Prepare, practice, and improve until you are so good others have to tip their cap to you.